The California
parents of 6-year-old transgender child
has gone public with their family’s personal story, posting a poignant
seven-minute video to YouTube that has drawn more than 3.5 million views in
just a few days. “Some said it was ‘just a phase.’ The trouble was, phases
end,” notes the video montage about
Ryland
Whittington, who was born a girl but recently transitioned to male, thanks
to his parents’ full support. “This was only getting stronger.” Ryland, who was
born deaf, received cochlear implants and learned to hear and speak shortly
after he was a year old. “We thought we had faced our toughest challenges, but
Ryland had more to share with us,” the video explains. “As soon as Ryland could
speak, she would scream, ‘I am a boy!’” The video was created and first shared
on May 22 at the Annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast in San Diego, a major
event that honors the slain LGBT activist and, this year, celebrated the
release of the new Harvey Milk commemorative postage stamp. Ryland and his
parents, San Diego real estate agents Jeff and Hillary Whittington, received
this year’s Inspiration Award at the event, eliciting a lot applause and many
tears from the 1,000-plus attendees. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my
whole life,”
Ryland told the crowd.
The family declined, through a spokesperson, to be interviewed by Yahoo Shine.
But, Jeff told the San Diego LGBT weekly about the video,
“One of the most
inspiring things that Harvey Milk had done, as far as our family is concerned,
was to encourage people to come out — to let their voices be heard, break down
the walls, break down the barriers and start allowing people to see them for
their authentic selves and be true to themselves. And this is our coming out…
This is us making our voices heard.”Though 6 may seem very young for a child to
know if he or she is transgender, it is “a typical age, because it’s when
people develop their gender identity in a real solidified way,” Michigan-based
transgender-youth expert and psychologist
Antonia
Carettotells Yahoo Shine. She adds that often when parents of transgender
children, even teens, come to see her, “They’ll say, ‘But he’s so infantile!’
And I’ll say, ‘At 13, did you know what gender you are?’” The montage, which
includes photos of Ryland through the years, as well as video footage of him
with his younger sister, takes viewers succinctly through the family’s story.
It explains that, soon after learning to speak, “Ryland began to display
increasing amounts of shame … Through tears she asked ‘Why did God make me like
this?’ She may have only been 5 years old, but we needed to start truly
listening.” The montage’s text adds that, after consulting with professionals,
the conclusion was that Ryland is transgender.
But then came the really scary
news. “Through our research, we discovered a disturbing statistic: 41 percent
of transgender people have attempted suicide due to lack of societal
acceptance. The national average is 4.6 percent,” the story explains. “We were
not willing to take that risk.” The
Whittingtons
were advised to allow him to transition to male right away. They cut his hair
and changed his room decor, as well as the pronouns they used. In addition, “We
sent out a letter to friends and family explaining our change. We lost a few
but the people who truly matter stuck by us…We signed up as parents with no
strings attached.” Since posting the video to YouTube, the family has received
an avalanche of public attention — something that can be both positive and
negative, according to Joel Baum, director of education and training for Gender
Spectrum. “An obvious pro is that you’re telling your kid’s story in a way that
is proud and celebratory and free of shame,” he tells Yahoo Shine. “Also, every
one of these stories opens up the door a little bit more.” Possible tradeoffs
are that it opens up a family to criticism from folks who may not understand,
Baum says, adding that, “we don’t know how this kid will feel about it being
out there in the future.” However, “It demystifies who these kids and families
are,” says Baum. And to those who fault the parents’ decision to allow
transition, he adds a warning: “Until you live with or know a kid like this, be
careful with the judgment, because most of these families have looked at about
every other possibility… This is not an easy road a family is walking
down."
